Texts from the Quran and from Sahih al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim about choosing a spouse. This is a collection of texts, not a ruling and not a fatwa. For your own situation, ask a qualified scholar. All topics
From the Quran
وَمِنْ ءَايَٰتِهِۦٓ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُم مِّنْ أَنفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَٰجًۭا لِّتَسْكُنُوٓا۟ إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُم مَّوَدَّةًۭ وَرَحْمَةً ۚ إِنَّ فِى ذَٰلِكَ لَءَايَٰتٍۢ لِّقَوْمٍۢ يَتَفَكَّرُونَ
And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.
وَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلَّا تُقْسِطُوا۟ فِى ٱلْيَتَٰمَىٰ فَٱنكِحُوا۟ مَا طَابَ لَكُم مِّنَ ٱلنِّسَآءِ مَثْنَىٰ وَثُلَٰثَ وَرُبَٰعَ ۖ فَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلَّا تَعْدِلُوا۟ فَوَٰحِدَةً أَوْ مَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَٰنُكُمْ ۚ ذَٰلِكَ أَدْنَىٰٓ أَلَّا تَعُولُوا۟
And if you fear that you will not deal justly with the orphan girls, then marry those that please you of [other] women, two or three or four. But if you fear that you will not be just, then [marry only] one or those your right hand possesses. That is more suitable that you may not incline [to injustice].
وَلَا تَنكِحُوا۟ ٱلْمُشْرِكَٰتِ حَتَّىٰ يُؤْمِنَّ ۚ وَلَأَمَةٌۭ مُّؤْمِنَةٌ خَيْرٌۭ مِّن مُّشْرِكَةٍۢ وَلَوْ أَعْجَبَتْكُمْ ۗ وَلَا تُنكِحُوا۟ ٱلْمُشْرِكِينَ حَتَّىٰ يُؤْمِنُوا۟ ۚ وَلَعَبْدٌۭ مُّؤْمِنٌ خَيْرٌۭ مِّن مُّشْرِكٍۢ وَلَوْ أَعْجَبَكُمْ ۗ أُو۟لَٰٓئِكَ يَدْعُونَ إِلَى ٱلنَّارِ ۖ وَٱللَّهُ يَدْعُوٓا۟ إِلَى ٱلْجَنَّةِ وَٱلْمَغْفِرَةِ بِإِذْنِهِۦ ۖ وَيُبَيِّنُ ءَايَٰتِهِۦ لِلنَّاسِ لَعَلَّهُمْ يَتَذَكَّرُونَ
And do not marry polytheistic women until they believe. And a believing slave woman is better than a polytheist, even though she might please you. And do not marry polytheistic men [to your women] until they believe. And a believing slave is better than a polytheist, even though he might please you. Those invite [you] to the Fire, but Allah invites to Paradise and to forgiveness, by His permission. And He makes clear His verses to the people that perhaps they may remember.
ٱلزَّانِى لَا يَنكِحُ إِلَّا زَانِيَةً أَوْ مُشْرِكَةًۭ وَٱلزَّانِيَةُ لَا يَنكِحُهَآ إِلَّا زَانٍ أَوْ مُشْرِكٌۭ ۚ وَحُرِّمَ ذَٰلِكَ عَلَى ٱلْمُؤْمِنِينَ
The fornicator does not marry except a [female] fornicator or polytheist, and none marries her except a fornicator or a polytheist, and that has been made unlawful to the believers.
ٱلْخَبِيثَٰتُ لِلْخَبِيثِينَ وَٱلْخَبِيثُونَ لِلْخَبِيثَٰتِ ۖ وَٱلطَّيِّبَٰتُ لِلطَّيِّبِينَ وَٱلطَّيِّبُونَ لِلطَّيِّبَٰتِ ۚ أُو۟لَٰٓئِكَ مُبَرَّءُونَ مِمَّا يَقُولُونَ ۖ لَهُم مَّغْفِرَةٌۭ وَرِزْقٌۭ كَرِيمٌۭ
Evil words are for evil men, and evil men are [subjected] to evil words. And good words are for good men, and good men are [an object] of good words. Those [good people] are declared innocent of what the slanderers say. For them is forgiveness and noble provision.
ٱلرِّجَالُ قَوَّٰمُونَ عَلَى ٱلنِّسَآءِ بِمَا فَضَّلَ ٱللَّهُ بَعْضَهُمْ عَلَىٰ بَعْضٍۢ وَبِمَآ أَنفَقُوا۟ مِنْ أَمْوَٰلِهِمْ ۚ فَٱلصَّٰلِحَٰتُ قَٰنِتَٰتٌ حَٰفِظَٰتٌۭ لِّلْغَيْبِ بِمَا حَفِظَ ٱللَّهُ ۚ وَٱلَّٰتِى تَخَافُونَ نُشُوزَهُنَّ فَعِظُوهُنَّ وَٱهْجُرُوهُنَّ فِى ٱلْمَضَاجِعِ وَٱضْرِبُوهُنَّ ۖ فَإِنْ أَطَعْنَكُمْ فَلَا تَبْغُوا۟ عَلَيْهِنَّ سَبِيلًا ۗ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ كَانَ عَلِيًّۭا كَبِيرًۭا
Men are in charge of women by [right of] what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth. So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband's] absence what Allah would have them guard. But those [wives] from whom you fear arrogance – [first] advise them; [then if they persist], forsake them in bed; and [finally], strike them. But if they obey you [once more], seek no means against them. Indeed, Allah is ever Exalted and Grand.
يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلنَّاسُ إِنَّا خَلَقْنَٰكُم مِّن ذَكَرٍۢ وَأُنثَىٰ وَجَعَلْنَٰكُمْ شُعُوبًۭا وَقَبَآئِلَ لِتَعَارَفُوٓا۟ ۚ إِنَّ أَكْرَمَكُمْ عِندَ ٱللَّهِ أَتْقَىٰكُمْ ۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ عَلِيمٌ خَبِيرٌۭ
O mankind, indeed We have created you from male and female and made you peoples and tribes that you may know one another. Indeed, the most noble of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous of you. Indeed, Allah is Knowing and Acquainted.
يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ لَا يَحِلُّ لَكُمْ أَن تَرِثُوا۟ ٱلنِّسَآءَ كَرْهًۭا ۖ وَلَا تَعْضُلُوهُنَّ لِتَذْهَبُوا۟ بِبَعْضِ مَآ ءَاتَيْتُمُوهُنَّ إِلَّآ أَن يَأْتِينَ بِفَٰحِشَةٍۢ مُّبَيِّنَةٍۢ ۚ وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّ بِٱلْمَعْرُوفِ ۚ فَإِن كَرِهْتُمُوهُنَّ فَعَسَىٰٓ أَن تَكْرَهُوا۟ شَيْـًۭٔا وَيَجْعَلَ ٱللَّهُ فِيهِ خَيْرًۭا كَثِيرًۭا
O you who have believed, it is not lawful for you to inherit women by compulsion. And do not make difficulties for them in order to take [back] part of what you gave them unless they commit a clear immorality. And live with them in kindness. For if you dislike them – perhaps you dislike a thing and Allah makes therein much good.
From the hadith
تُنْكَحُ الْمَرْأَةُ لأَرْبَعٍ لِمَالِهَا وَلِحَسَبِهَا وَجَمَالِهَا وَلِدِينِهَا، فَاظْفَرْ بِذَاتِ الدِّينِ تَرِبَتْ يَدَاكَ
Narrated Abu Huraira:The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a losers
تُنْكَحُ الْمَرْأَةُ لأَرْبَعٍ لِمَالِهَا وَلِحَسَبِهَا وَلِجَمَالِهَا وَلِدِينِهَا فَاظْفَرْ بِذَاتِ الدِّينِ تَرِبَتْ يَدَاكَ
Abu Huraira (Allah be pleased with him) reported Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) as saying:A woman may be married for four reasons: for her property, her status. her beauty and her religion, so try to get one who is religious, may your hand be besmeared with dust
لاَ تُنْكَحُ الأَيِّمُ حَتَّى تُسْتَأْمَرَ وَلاَ تُنْكَحُ الْبِكْرُ حَتَّى تُسْتَأْذَنَ " . قَالُوا يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ وَكَيْفَ إِذْنُهَا قَالَ " أَنْ تَسْكُتَ
Abu Huraira (Allah be pleased with him) reported Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) as having said:A woman without a husband (or divorced or a widow) must not be married until she is consulted, and a virgin must not be married until her permission is sought. They asked the Prophet of Allah (ﷺ): How her (virgin's) consent can be solicited? He (the Holy Prophet) said: That she keeps silence
لاَ تُنْكَحُ الأَيِّمُ حَتَّى تُسْتَأْمَرَ وَلاَ تُنْكَحُ الْبِكْرُ حَتَّى تُسْتَأْذَنَ ". قَالُوا يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ وَكَيْفَ إِذْنُهَا قَالَ " أَنْ تَسْكُتَ
Narrated Abu Huraira:The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "A matron should not be given in marriage except after consulting her; and a virgin should not be given in marriage except after her permission." The people asked, "O Allah's Messenger (ﷺ)! How can we know her permission?" He said, "Her silence (indicates her permission)
يَا مَعْشَرَ الشَّبَابِ مَنِ اسْتَطَاعَ مِنْكُمُ الْبَاءَةَ فَلْيَتَزَوَّجْ فَإِنَّهُ أَغَضُّ لِلْبَصَرِ وَأَحْصَنُ لِلْفَرْجِ وَمَنْ لَمْ يَسْتَطِعْ فَعَلَيْهِ بِالصَّوْمِ فَإِنَّهُ لَهُ وِجَاءٌ
Alqama reported:While I was walking with 'Abdullah at Mina, 'Uthman happened to meet him. He stopped there and began to talk with him. Uthman said to him: Abu 'Abd al-Rahman, should we not marry you to a young girl who may recall to you some of the past of your bygone days; thereupon he said: If you say so, Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said: 0 young men, those among you who can support a wife should marry, for it restrains eyes from casting (evil glances). and preserves one from immorality; but those who cannot should devote themselves to fasting for it is a means of controlling sexual desire
مَنْ كَانَ يُؤْمِنُ بِاللَّهِ وَالْيَوْمِ الآخِرِ فَإِذَا شَهِدَ أَمْرًا فَلْيَتَكَلَّمْ بِخَيْرٍ أَوْ لِيَسْكُتْ وَاسْتَوْصُوا بِالنِّسَاءِ فَإِنَّ الْمَرْأَةَ خُلِقَتْ مِنْ ضِلَعٍ وَإِنَّ أَعْوَجَ شَىْءٍ فِي الضِّلَعِ أَعْلاَهُ إِنْ ذَهَبْتَ تُقِيمُهُ كَسَرْتَهُ وَإِنْ تَرَكْتَهُ لَمْ يَزَلْ أَعْوَجَ اسْتَوْصُوا بِالنِّسَاءِ خَيْرًا
Abu Huraira (Allah be pleased with him) reported Allah's Apostle (ﷺ) as saying:He who believes in Allah and the Hereafter, if he witnesses any matter he should talk in good terms about it or keep quiet. Act kindly towards woman, for woman is created from a rib, and the most crooked part of the rib is its top. If you attempt to straighten it, you will break it, and if you leave it, its crookedness will remain there. So act kindly towards women
مَنْ كَانَ يُؤْمِنُ بِاللَّهِ وَالْيَوْمِ الآخِرِ فَلاَ يُؤْذِي جَارَهُ ". وَاسْتَوْصُوا بِالنِّسَاءِ خَيْرًا فَإِنَّهُنَّ خُلِقْنَ مِنْ ضِلَعٍ وَإِنَّ أَعْوَجَ شَيْءٍ فِي الضِّلَعِ أَعْلَاهُ فَإِنْ ذَهَبْتَ تُقِيمُهُ كَسَرْتَهُ وَإِنْ تَرَكْتَهُ لَمْ يَزَلْ أَعْوَجَ فَاسْتَوْصُوا بِالنِّسَاءِ خَيْرًا
Narrated Abu Huraira:The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should not hurt (trouble) his neighbor. And I advise you to take care of the women, for they are created from a rib and the most crooked portion of the rib is its upper part; if you try to straighten it, it will break, and if you leave it, it will remain crooked, so I urge you to take care of the women
حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو الْيَمَانِ، أَخْبَرَنَا شُعَيْبٌ، عَنِ الزُّهْرِيِّ،. وَقَالَ اللَّيْثُ حَدَّثَنِي عُقَيْلٌ، عَنِ ابْنِ شِهَابٍ، أَخْبَرَنِي عُرْوَةُ بْنُ الزُّبَيْرِ، أَنَّهُ سَأَلَ عَائِشَةَ ـ رضى الله عنها ـ قَالَ لَهَا يَا أُمَّتَاهْ {وَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَنْ لاَ تُقْسِطُوا فِي الْيَتَامَى} إِلَى {مَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَانُكُمْ} قَالَتْ عَائِشَةُ يَا ابْنَ أُخْتِي هَذِهِ الْيَتِيمَةُ تَكُونُ فِي حَجْرِ وَلِيِّهَا، فَيَرْغَبُ فِي جَمَالِهَا وَمَالِهَا، وَيُرِيدُ أَنْ يَنْتَقِصَ مِنْ صَدَاقِهَا، فَنُهُوا عَنْ نِكَاحِهِنَّ. إِلاَّ أَنْ يُقْسِطُوا لَهُنَّ فِي إِكْمَالِ الصَّدَاقِ وَأُمِرُوا بِنِكَاحِ مَنْ سِوَاهُنَّ مِنَ النِّسَاءِ، قَالَتْ عَائِشَةُ اسْتَفْتَى النَّاسُ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم بَعْدَ ذَلِكَ فَأَنْزَلَ اللَّهُ {وَيَسْتَفْتُونَكَ فِي النِّسَاءِ} إِلَى {وَتَرْغَبُونَ} فَأَنْزَلَ اللَّهُ عَزَّ وَجَلَّ لَهُمْ فِي هَذِهِ الآيَةِ أَنَّ الْيَتِيمَةَ إِذَا كَانَتْ ذَاتَ مَالٍ وَجَمَالٍ، رَغِبُوا فِي نِكَاحِهَا وَنَسَبِهَا وَالصَّدَاقِ، وَإِذَا كَانَتْ مَرْغُوبًا عَنْهَا فِي قِلَّةِ الْمَالِ وَالْجَمَالِ، تَرَكُوهَا وَأَخَذُوا غَيْرَهَا مِنَ النِّسَاءِ ـ قَالَتْ ـ فَكَمَا يَتْرُكُونَهَا حِينَ يَرْغَبُونَ عَنْهَا، فَلَيْسَ لَهُمْ أَنْ يَنْكِحُوهَا إِذَا رَغِبُوا فِيهَا، إِلاَّ أَنْ يُقْسِطُوا لَهَا وَيُعْطُوهَا حَقَّهَا الأَوْفَى مِنَ الصَّدَاقِ.
Narrated 'Urwa bin Az-Zubair:that he asked `Aisha, saying to her, "O Mother! (In what connection was this Verse revealed): 'If you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with orphan girls (to the end of the verse) that your right hands possess?" (4.3) Aisha said, "O my nephew! It was about the female orphan under the protection of her guardian who was interested in her beauty and wealth and wanted to marry her with a little or reduced Mahr. So such guardians were forbidden to marry female orphans unless they deal with them justly and give their full Mahr; and they were ordered to marry women other than them."`Aisha added, "(Later) the people asked Allah's Messenger (ﷺ), for instructions, and then Allah revealed: 'They ask your instruction concerning the women . . . And yet whom you desire to marry.' (4.127) So Allah revealed to them in this Verse that-if a female orphan had wealth and beauty, they desired to marry her and were interested in her noble descent and the reduction of her Mahr; but if she was not desired by them because of her lack in fortune and beauty they left her and married some other woman. So, as they used to leave her when they had no interest in her, they had no right to marry her if they had the desire to do so, unless they deal justly with her and gave her a full amount of Mahr
الْمُؤْمِنُ أَخُو الْمُؤْمِنِ فَلاَ يَحِلُّ لِلْمُؤْمِنِ أَنْ يَبْتَاعَ عَلَى بَيْعِ أَخِيهِ وَلاَ يَخْطُبَ عَلَى خِطْبَةِ أَخِيهِ حَتَّى يَذَرَ
Uqba b. 'Amir said on the pulpit that Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said:A believer is the brother of a believer, so it is not lawful for a believer to outbid his brother, and he should not propose an engagement when his brother has thus proposed until he gives it up
إِذَا دُعِيَ أَحَدُكُمْ إِلَى الْوَلِيمَةِ فَلْيَأْتِهَا
Ibn Umar (Allah be pleased with him) reported that Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said:When any one of you is invited to a feast, he should attend it
وَحَدَّثَنِي أَبُو بَكْرِ بْنُ نَافِعٍ الْعَبْدِيُّ، حَدَّثَنَا بَهْزٌ، حَدَّثَنَا حَمَّادُ بْنُ سَلَمَةَ، عَنْ ثَابِتٍ، عَنْ أَنَسٍ، أَنَّ نَفَرًا، مِنْ أَصْحَابِ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم سَأَلُوا أَزْوَاجَ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم عَنْ عَمَلِهِ فِي السِّرِّ فَقَالَ بَعْضُهُمْ لاَ أَتَزَوَّجُ النِّسَاءَ . وَقَالَ بَعْضُهُمْ لاَ آكُلُ اللَّحْمَ . وَقَالَ بَعْضُهُمْ لاَ أَنَامُ عَلَى فِرَاشٍ . فَحَمِدَ اللَّهَ وَأَثْنَى عَلَيْهِ . فَقَالَ " مَا بَالُ أَقْوَامٍ قَالُوا كَذَا وَكَذَا لَكِنِّي أُصَلِّي وَأَنَامُ وَأَصُومُ وَأُفْطِرُ وَأَتَزَوَّجُ النِّسَاءَ فَمَنْ رَغِبَ عَنْ سُنَّتِي فَلَيْسَ مِنِّي " .
Anas (Allah be pleased with him) reported that some of the Companions of Allah's Apostle (ﷺ) asked his (the Prophet's) wives about the acts that he performed in private. Someone among them (among his Companions) said:I will not marry women; someone among them said: I will not eat meat; and someone among them said: I will not lie down in bed. He (the Holy Prophet) praised Allah and glorified Him, and said: What has happened to these people that they say so and so, whereas I observe prayer and sleep too; I observe fast and suspend observing them; I marry women also? And he who turns away from my Sunnah, he has no relation with Me
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